Belonging

I spent some time pondering this quote from a recent RS lesson that taught/reinforced some specific attributes of homes and temples that make them sacred.

Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.

I belong in my home and nobody questions that. My parents welcome me when I walk in the door with a smile and open arms, offering food and laughter and sustenance. It doesn't matter what I look like when I am home; no one is judging my appearance. I can feel completely comfortable in my own skin, and those at home love me for all of the right reasons.

Similarly, I belong in the temple. My Heavenly parents welcome me with an outpouring of the the Holy Ghost as I walk inside, offering spiritual nourishment, joy, and strength. It doesn't matter who is most fashionable in the temple; no one is judging my appearance there either. We dress in pure white to represent the fact that we are all equal in God's eyes.

A few weeks ago, I was doing baptisms for the dead at the temple, and had the opportunity to speak with the temple president. I expressed my plans to be endowed soon and my heart was burning with a desire to know what else I could do to prepare for my first endowment session. Rather than providing me with some unique study plan, he simply commended my preparation and told me that I belong in the temple. As long as I am true to myself and to God, I can walk in those golden doors, feel a sense of peace, and give all of my worries away. I am so excited to enter the temple for my washing and anointing, and to receive my endowment. I have been striving for years to feel worthy and prepared. The day is coming soon. I'm not sure just when it will be, but I can't wait!

My goal is renewed to have this same temple-like spirit in my own home as I navigate through college, and eventually learn how to be a wife and mother. I can make my apartment a sacred place. I can invite the Holy Ghost into my home. I want my home to be a refuge for everyone who walks inside, always. I feel the same happy feelings inside the temple as I do inside my home and vice versa. This is because those sacred environments are a little sneak peek to my heavenly home. And there, in the kingdom with my Father, is where I ultimately belong.

Long time...

...No post. It's been awhile. In the last thirteen months, I have been accepted to nursing school. I have reached my halfway mark of college. I have fallen in love. I have experienced a broken heart. I have tasted death (okay that one was a little dramatic). I have learned more than ever before how to experience a mighty change of heart.

I don't really know what to write here. I feel a need to catch up on everything that has happened in the last year. I could talk about my severe allergic reaction over finals week last December. I could talk about how I thought I was going to marry my bf and the grief and loss and confusion I felt over our breakup. I could talk about how joyous the reunions were when my brother max came home from his mission and my best friend Rebekah came home from London. I could talk about the stressors and blessings of nursing school. I could talk about my evolving relationship with my parents. I could talk about how I purchased a car and feel like a real adult. I could talk about my road trip to Portland OR with friends. I could talk about the BWE and all of our adventures and fun and testimony building experiences with Bishop Rasmussen. I could talk about our temple trip with family history and learning how to research my ancestors. I could talk about pathophysiology. I could talk about any of these things for days and still never feel caught up.

But alas. That is a near impossible task and I would prefer to live in the moment.

It is April 25th 2016. I am twenty years old. I am between semesters. I just rocked finals and finished my first year of nursing school. In two days, I will begin spring term to catch up on GE requirements. My heart is healed and I have a new boyfriend, Dave. Bekah is home (it still doesn't feel real) and I can't wait to live with her again. I am HAPPY.

I am happy because I know my family loves me. I am happy because i love my ward. I am happy because I have learned about the Savior and how present He can be in my life. I am happy because I have my best friend in the whole entire world living next door to me. I am happy because David makes me laugh every single day.

I feel so blessed. I love BYU, and Provo, and feeling at home here. I am excited to see what the next thirteen months has to bring, but hopefully i will keep better track of the goings-on so this time.

Pure Religion: Recap

I am so thankful for the opportunity we had this month to focus on Pure Religion. It was really convenient to have planned activities and setups to make service easy, and I'm really thankful for all of the committees and people who took the time to make that all possible. However, the most meaningful experiences for me this month were the ones that just happened; possibly because I had a heightened awareness of the promptings of the Spirit that encouraged me to serve.

One of the ways that I served this month was by performing baptisms in the temple. My aunt had given me some family names to take to the temple months ago, and they had been sitting on my desk for all that time...just waiting to receive the ordinances. After our kickoff on March 2, I felt a very strong PUSH to go get those names done. So that Friday, I went with a couple friends in my chemistry class. As we were waiting in the temple chapel, I read the names of my ancestors on those little pink cards and thought about their lives, their stories. I also happened to be studying 3 Nephi chapter 11, where Christ introduces the baptismal ordinance to the Nephites. As I read about His doctrine, I felt the presence of my family members. I read Christ's words saying that "whoso is baptized, the same shall be saved, and they are they who shall inherit the kingdom of God." and I felt the joy of my family through a very thin veil. I knew that Grace and Marian and Elisabeth were celebrating because they had just come one step closer to Christ, through my service in temple. Brother Merrill has taught me this year that as we serve those across the veil, our bond is strengthened, and they will in turn serve us, helping us resist temptation, manage time wisely, or simply feel their love. I know that this is true.

Another way that I was able to serve this month was a couple Saturdays ago at Macey's. Our friend Alli was here from out-of-town, and since she has a car, we conveniently "used" her to get groceries. As we pulled into the parking lot, I saw a haggard man holding a sign that read "Struggling for work and food. Please help wife and kids." I was suddenly struck with the thought, "you MUST get him some food." The impression was startlingly strong and I immediately pulled out a pen and wrote it down on my shopping list, so I wouldn't forget while I was mindlessly shopping for my own groceries. 

I traipsed through the store, grabbing double of the non-perishable things on my list, with some extra produce and bread. While I was putting all these extra items in my cart, I thought about how much additional, unnecessary money I was spending...how my groceries this week would cost 5.6 hours of answering phone calls in the ASB, instead of the usual 2.7, and how I was a poor college student, what I am doing trying to buy food for another family. I was thinking about all of the other things I could buy with that money, but I checked out, looked at my receipt, and then it was too late. We drove out the way we came in, and I was praying the man would still be there. And sure enough, he was! We slowed to stop and rolled down a window. I said hello and gave him the heavy bag of groceries. He said a gruff "thanks," and that was that. We drove away. But then, I felt so touched by the love the Heavenly Father had for this man, that He nudged me SO hard just to get me to think outside of myself. 

When Bishop first told us about Pure Religion month, he gave us a devotional address given by Elder Don Clarke. In that talk, Elder Clarke promises a strengthening of the effectiveness of spiritual connections as we practice pure religion. I testify that I HAVE felt a stronger spiritual connection with my Heavenly Father as I look for ways to serve His other Beloved Children. I am so thankful to be part of this ward and associate with some of His choicest disciples here at BYU. I hope that we can all continue to let Pure Religion be a part of our everyday lives, and reap the blessings that are promised. I have a testimony that we will be blessed, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Obedience

Just read this talk by President Monson.

When Jesus was on the earth, a lawyer asked Him a question:

“Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

“This is the first and great commandment.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:36–40).

From these scriptures we learn how important it is for us to love the Lord and our neighbors. But how do we show our love for the Lord?

Jesus answered this question when He said, “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father” (John 14:21).

Each of us should ask ourselves why we obey God’s commandments. Is it because we fear punishment? Is it because we desire the rewards for living a good life? Is it because we love God and Jesus Christ and want to serve Them?

It is better to obey the commandments because we fear punishment than not to obey them at all. But we will be much happier if we obey God because we love Him and want to obey Him. When we obey Him freely, He can bless us freely. He said, “I, the Lord, … delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end” (D&C 76:5). Obedience also helps us progress and become more like our Heavenly Father. But those who do nothing until they are commanded and then keep the commandments unwillingly lose their reward (see D&C 58:26–29).

Diligence

This week we were asked to focus on diligence. I was grateful for the motivation to be more diligent in my scripture study and daily prayer. Preach My Gospel says that diligence is "steady, consistent, earnest, and energetic effort in doing the Lord's work." It also encourages me to focus on the most important things and stop wasting time. I have tried very hard for many years to use my time effectively- I live by a day-planner. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I am not able to check every box in a day. However, I've learned this week that as I do the important things [reading scriptures, praying, writing letters of gratitude] I feel less stressed out about my mundane assignments and am able to complete them in a more timely manner. I know that this is a small blessing for being diligent in completing the small and simple things, and I am grateful that I could experience those blessing this week. I hope to remember them as I am trying to decide between good, better, and best ways to spend my time.

Humility

We often see humility coupled with pride, especially in the Book of Mormon. For a long time, I think that I misinterpreted humility: I understood it as a low view of my own importance. Now I would say that having humility is having a modest view of my own importance.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking about yourself less."

I believe that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, and each one of us are of utmost importance! However, we must remember that God is our Father and has given us everything. As we acknowledge His power and mercy, we are showing Him our love. We must be willing to submit to His will. 

"Humility is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of spiritual strength."

My patriarchal blessing counsels me to be humble. It says that I must always give credit to my Heavenly Father for the gifts and blessings that I possess, for they are gifts of the Spirit that He has given to me. I am confident that I can do whatever the Lord requires of me, as long as I rely on Him. That confidence is in God (not in myself) and it enables me to do things far beyond my own capability.

Humility and gratitude bring some of the greatest happiness to my life. Bekah recently mused, "I definitely know that gratitude and happiness are inseparable. You can't be grateful and not be happy. That just is not a thing." I agree with her wholeheartedly.

I love this general conference talk given by Bishop Edgley in 2003: The Empowerment of Humility. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of all the wonderful, humble examples in my life.

"They are consistently doing the unnoticed, the unspectacular, but humbly and righteously doing the important."

It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of the ultimate example of humility- my Savior Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the love and mercy of my Lord that allow me to become a better person. Not in my own right, but to further His work and build His Kingdom. I am thankful for the gospel in my life and the many experiences I have that humble me. Sometimes it is hard to admit that while I am in the process of being humbled, but I know that it is for my good. I am humbled to know that I am a daughter of God and He loves me so very much. With that knowledge, I hope to help other people feel His love. 

Patience

Patience is the Christlike attribute I focused on this week. I had to be patient with myself while studying for a difficult chemistry exam. I did not do everything in my power to prepare for the test, but time was short and I felt overwhelmed. In that moment of distress, my friend Kia saw me in the lobby and asked how I was doing. I was honest with her, and let her know that I was freaking out about my test and I didn't know what to do. She gave me uplifting advice and encouraged me to be patient with myself. Of all the things she could have told me, she chose patience- and I am so glad. It taught me a lesson of understanding. Being patient with myself helped me realize that even though I didn't spend many hours studying for the chemistry test, I used those hours in other uplifting ways. Being patient with myself helped me understand some of the ways that our Heavenly Father is patient with us. 

The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness. 

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I believe that patience helps me enjoy the little things in life. I have always told myself that I love to be busy, it gives me purpose and direction; while this is true--and I am nearly always busy--I feel the happiest when I have a chance to sit back, relax, and look around at the blessings which I have been given.

Today in our hurried and hectic lives, we could well go back to an earlier time for the lesson taught us regarding crossing dangerous streets. “Stop, look, and listen” were the watchwords. Could we not apply them now? Stop...and look upward for heavenly help. Listen for His invitation: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

--Thomas S. Monson

I had the opportunity to take a road trip to southern Utah this weekend. We woke up at 4:00am to begin the long drive to Zion National Park. It was pitch black when we left Provo, and slowly but surely, the sun rose in the east sky. It's been a long time since I've seen the entire sunset and it was truly glorious. I had a lot of time on Saturday, in the car and on the peak of Angels Landing, to ponder and reflect and converse with my Heavenly Father. It was a much-needed break from my "hurried and hectic life"and I am grateful for the opportunity I had to stop the busy-ness, look at the beauty around me, and listen to the promptings that God wanted me to hear. Hiking is a special time for me, to wonder at the beautiful creations which He has given us. I think of the patience that God must have as he watches his children cultivate, progress, and grow. I am thankful for the patience and mercy which He offers me. I hope as I continue to recognize His patience and love in my life, I will be able to extend it to others, and to myself.

Knowledge

Preach My Gospel promises that as I study diligently, prayerfully, and with pure intent, that the Holy Ghost will enlighten my mind and help me be more open to receiving personal revelation. I know that I can also gain knowledge by watching and listening to others, especially the prophets of God. I am thankful for my brain and the opportunities I have to increase my knowledge in gospel subjects, in temporal learning, and in love.

Virtue

In mission prep this week, we focused on the Christlike attribute of virtue. Virtue is often coupled with terms like "chastity" and "morality," but I like to think of it more as purity in every regard- in thoughts, desires, actions, service, and intent.

Proverbs 31:10-31 tells of a virtuous woman. She is a woman who deserves the trust of her husband, who works willingly, and who is considerate. She reaches to the needy, and lives with strength and honor. I want to be like this woman. I want to invite purity into every aspect of my life, and to develop and act on righteous desires. My patriarchal blessing states that I will one day fulfill my innermost desire to become a mother in Israel. To do this, I will need to continue to live a virtuous life so that I will be worthy to marry in the temple with my lucky husband.

Sister Elaine S. Dalton is one of my heroes and another perfect example of a virtuous woman. Sister Dalton counsels us to never underestimate the power of our righteous influence. I believe that living virtuously is the strength and power of daughters of God, and that influence may be felt by my children, Relief Society sisters, boyfriend, or a stranger- really anyone who I come in contact with. I want to be sure my influence is a good one- one that will bring others closer to Christ.

I was challenged in class to include virtuous goals in my conversations with Heavenly Father. He encouraged us to pray for more virtue in the mornings, and report our progress to Him at night. This is something that I want to practice for the rest of my life, because I truly felt the influence of a loving Spirit throughout my days.

I know that living virtuously will help me be a better missionary, friend, sister, daughter, wife, and mother. Even though I haven't fulfilled all of these roles yet, I can continue to prepare for the temple and for my future family by implementing these attributes in my life now- each and every day.

Charity and Love

Elder Gene R. Cook said that charity is "perfect and everlasting love."

As we increasingly think and act like Him, the attributes of the natural man will slip away to be replaced by the heart and mind of Christ.

This talk wonderfully defines charity and how we can implement the teachings and attitudes of Christ in our own lives.