Humility

We often see humility coupled with pride, especially in the Book of Mormon. For a long time, I think that I misinterpreted humility: I understood it as a low view of my own importance. Now I would say that having humility is having a modest view of my own importance.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking about yourself less."

I believe that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, and each one of us are of utmost importance! However, we must remember that God is our Father and has given us everything. As we acknowledge His power and mercy, we are showing Him our love. We must be willing to submit to His will. 

"Humility is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of spiritual strength."

My patriarchal blessing counsels me to be humble. It says that I must always give credit to my Heavenly Father for the gifts and blessings that I possess, for they are gifts of the Spirit that He has given to me. I am confident that I can do whatever the Lord requires of me, as long as I rely on Him. That confidence is in God (not in myself) and it enables me to do things far beyond my own capability.

Humility and gratitude bring some of the greatest happiness to my life. Bekah recently mused, "I definitely know that gratitude and happiness are inseparable. You can't be grateful and not be happy. That just is not a thing." I agree with her wholeheartedly.

I love this general conference talk given by Bishop Edgley in 2003: The Empowerment of Humility. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of all the wonderful, humble examples in my life.

"They are consistently doing the unnoticed, the unspectacular, but humbly and righteously doing the important."

It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of the ultimate example of humility- my Savior Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the love and mercy of my Lord that allow me to become a better person. Not in my own right, but to further His work and build His Kingdom. I am thankful for the gospel in my life and the many experiences I have that humble me. Sometimes it is hard to admit that while I am in the process of being humbled, but I know that it is for my good. I am humbled to know that I am a daughter of God and He loves me so very much. With that knowledge, I hope to help other people feel His love. 

Virtue

In mission prep this week, we focused on the Christlike attribute of virtue. Virtue is often coupled with terms like "chastity" and "morality," but I like to think of it more as purity in every regard- in thoughts, desires, actions, service, and intent.

Proverbs 31:10-31 tells of a virtuous woman. She is a woman who deserves the trust of her husband, who works willingly, and who is considerate. She reaches to the needy, and lives with strength and honor. I want to be like this woman. I want to invite purity into every aspect of my life, and to develop and act on righteous desires. My patriarchal blessing states that I will one day fulfill my innermost desire to become a mother in Israel. To do this, I will need to continue to live a virtuous life so that I will be worthy to marry in the temple with my lucky husband.

Sister Elaine S. Dalton is one of my heroes and another perfect example of a virtuous woman. Sister Dalton counsels us to never underestimate the power of our righteous influence. I believe that living virtuously is the strength and power of daughters of God, and that influence may be felt by my children, Relief Society sisters, boyfriend, or a stranger- really anyone who I come in contact with. I want to be sure my influence is a good one- one that will bring others closer to Christ.

I was challenged in class to include virtuous goals in my conversations with Heavenly Father. He encouraged us to pray for more virtue in the mornings, and report our progress to Him at night. This is something that I want to practice for the rest of my life, because I truly felt the influence of a loving Spirit throughout my days.

I know that living virtuously will help me be a better missionary, friend, sister, daughter, wife, and mother. Even though I haven't fulfilled all of these roles yet, I can continue to prepare for the temple and for my future family by implementing these attributes in my life now- each and every day.

Faith in Christ

This week in Mission Prep I was challenged to develop my faith in Jesus Christ. This seemed like a pretty broad challenge, and now at the end of the week, I wish I had taken it more seriously. Regardless, over the last few days I have strived to pray out loud with more sincere intent to my Heavenly Father- in the name of Jesus Christ.

One of my church leaders recently told me there was a time in his life when he wasn't sure if his prayers were making it past the ceiling. This man is a spiritual giant and I look up to him immensely. It was oddly comforting to realize that if he has felt this way before, it's okay that I have felt this way before. I have said prayers all throughout my life, but it is a rare occasion when I pray aloud. I often gain comfort through prayer, but sometimes I don't know if it's because I believe that God is listening to me, or because it is just therapeutic to talk about my day and think about my missionaries and plan out what I would like to do better tomorrow in my head. Sometimes I feel foolish when I pray aloud...but this week, in striving to develop my faith in Jesus Christ, it has felt a little more natural. I have felt that God wants me to draw closer to Him. And because He wants me to, it makes me want to even more.

Because of my renewed faith in Jesus Christ, I have resolved to come unto Him in every way that I can. I am about to take a big step out of my comfort zone and come to Him in a way I never have before. I know that I need to repent of my sins, and I hope that my guilt will be swept away through his powerful Atonement. I don't think I have personally experienced the enabling power of the Atonement before. Even though it is hard and embarrassing to complete the process to get past my mortal weaknesses, I can't wait to feel the joy and freedom that is promised in the scriptures to those who repent and come unto Christ.

Developing this faith in Jesus Christ will help me become a more successful missionary, whether I'm in the field or in my home. I will be able to teach my children the joys of the Atonement through personal experience. I will be able to testify to them of the enabling power of the Atonement the way that Jakey did for me:

The Enabling power of the atonement is real. It motivates us it pushes us, and it can help us do anything that we need to do. I just wanted to share my testimony with you that Jesus Christ has made it all possible. He makes me who I am and all I have to do is let him change me. If you read in Jacob, it tells us not to try and counsel the Lord with who we think we should be, and if you then go to Isaiah 45:9 he shows us how we are clay and we need to let the master craftsman form us into the best thing that we can be. We don't know enough to mold ourselves in the person the Lord knows that we can be, we can't rely on our own knowledge, as we are taught in 2 Nephi 9:28-29. I know that when we hearken to the counsel of the Lord we will always come out better than if we try and rely on ourselves. 

I feel God's love for me each day through the angels He puts in my life and the blessed circumstances I find myself in. I want to return this love as best as I can. Bekah reminded me of many ways that I can show my love for Him in her Relief Society lesson last Sunday. She is one of my greatest examples of someone who loves the Lord and I'm so grateful for her close example in my life. I hope to develop my faith in Jesus Christ every day. Each new experience is an opportunity to come closer to Him, depending on the choices I make. When I let Him mold me into the person I have the potential to become, I'll be happy and He will be too.

Thoughts about covenants.

 Throughout the course of this semester, I have gained a greater understanding of Christ’s Atonement and how to apply it in my own life. I have also learned a great deal more about the covenants I have made through baptism and sacrament ordinances, and am now preparing to make in the temple. The purpose of this paper is to further explore the meaning of “covenants” as stated in Mosiah 18:8-10, and how I can continue to prepare to make eternal promises with our Heavenly Father.

The first covenant I would like to discuss is the first essential covenant we make to enter into the kingdom of God: that is, baptism. Mosiah 18:8-10 states:

“And now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light;

“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrections, that ye may have eternal life-

“Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you.”

There are several main points in this passage of scripture that I’d like to address: First of all, it is made clear that those who make covenants with God must be desirous and willing. I recently attended the baptism of Simon, who lives in my YSA ward here in Provo. He has been attending BYU as a non-LDS student and after investigating the Church, chose to be baptized. At the end of the meeting, our bishop said something that struck me. He addressed Simon, and told him that many people have served him over the last years and months to be prepared to enter into the waters of baptism; but now, as a member of the Church and a disciple of Christ, it is his responsibility to serve others. It is very evident that Simon understood the covenant that he just made with God, as spelled out in D&C 20:37:

 “All those who humble themselves before God and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hears and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end…”

Simon is an example to me because he is clearly full of desire to join the ranks with Jesus Christ through the covenant of baptism. I imagine that it would be a difficult decision as an 18 year-old young man, 2000 miles away from home and family to change his entire lifestyle. However, it is not that hard to envision in my own life, because throughout this semester, I have learned that I make that same commitment each week when I take the sacrament. Partaking of the bread and water is a literal renewal of all of the covenants I have made.

I have already covenanted with my Heavenly Father by being baptized at age eight and partaking of the sacrament each week. I keep my end of this two-way promise by humbly repenting of my sins and all of the aforementioned things. In return, I can be worthy to have the Spirit of God accompany me through out my life, as long as I am living worthily. Honoring baptismal covenants is an important part of making all of the covenants on the path to eternal life. As I honor my baptismal covenants, I am also preparing to make other covenants. The next covenant is the endowment.

I have not yet received my endowment, but attending a temple preparation class helped me to better understand what covenants I will be making when I do. These instructions and covenants will prepare me for the blessings of eternal life as long as I am faithful to my end of the promise. In my temple preparation class, I learned that contrary to previous policy, I do not have to wait to receive my endowment until I am about to leave on a mission or be married. My instructor told me that a new statement given by the Brethren of the First Presidency has encouraged bishops and stake presidents to be aware of this policy change. Knowing this has changed my outlook on preparing to make covenants with God. I want to let my endowment—a personal experience about my own eternal progression—be a separate experience from my wedding or impending mission, so that I will not be distracted from the importance of my covenants. I hope that this will let my endowment experience be very personal and meaningful. Because I now know that I can prepare to enter the temple before I go on a mission or get married, my desire and motivation to do so has increased exponentially. I have been studying the Plan of Salvation and trying to improve many areas of my life in preparation to make covenants in the temple, alongside keeping my baptismal covenants. I also learned this semester that partaking of the sacrament not only renews baptismal covenants, but all promises and covenants made with our Heavenly Father.

Going back to the theme of this paper as found in Mosiah 18, one of my promises to Heavenly Father necessary to keep my covenants with him is to “stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places,” which is also included in the Young Women Theme. I have been reciting this convicting statement ever since I was twelve years old. This means to me that I will act in accordance with His will across all situations and against all opposition. I consider myself lucky that I have not encountered many opposing forces to my faith, however, by reading and understanding this scripture I have learned that the request to stand as a witness of God did not end when I graduated out of the Young Women’s program.

D&C 66:2 says:

“Blessed are you for receiving mine everlasting covenant, even the fullness of my gospel, sent forth unto the children of men, that they might have life and be made partakers of the glories which are to be revealed in the last days.”

God is so good. He provides me with opportunities to exercise faith and trust by allowing me to make covenants with Him. Even though I already experience many benefits from these covenants, He continues to pour out blessings of the fullness of the gospel and offers unfathomable glory in the kingdoms to come. Throughout this semester—by taking a Book of Mormon class and attending temple preparation, by learning more about the sacrament and studying the Plan of Salvation—I have developed my relationship with my Heavenly Father exponentially. I have a better understanding of Christ’s atonement and how it is applicable in my life, and I strive to understand the importance of making and keeping my covenants with God. As stated in the July 2012 Ensign article, “keeping our covenants is a commitment to become like the Savior” (Understanding Our Covenants with God). I am committed to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ, and thus will strive for the rest of my life to keep the covenants that are made possible through Him. 

Happy birthday to me.

Can you believe I'm NINETEEN. It just seems so old. Only one year away from 20. It is even weirder that I could be on a mission right now if I wanted.

Speaking of going on missions...I have given more thought to the possibility. Technically, I could have submitted my papers back in August and be leaving in a couple weeks. However, I have counseled with my parents, and my bishop, and the Lord most of all. At this point a mission is not in my plans. I don't know how I feel about that. Well, I feel at peace about it. In a way, I would really love to serve a mission. I loved going on splits with the sisters, I love teaching, I love being immersed in the gospel, I always feel so much desire to have these experiences that all of my peers and friends are having when I read their letters (to be honest, I'm so jealous). It seems like a mission would be the most perfect thing for me. I often get told that too, by church leaders and family members and dear friends. But that's part of the reason why I feel so at peace with my answer... Even though I would like to serve a mission, I just know that it's not for me. Not because I don't want to, not because I can't... Because I kind of do want to and I can. But I believe there must be something else in store for me, and I don't know what that is yet. 

For this year at least, it is serving as the RS president in my ward in Provo. If I was leaving on a mission right now, I would not be able to do that, and in the last 4 months I have seen so many wonderful things, just like one of my friends described from his mission: 

"You'll never gain as much knowledge and experience as you will on a mission. I can't tell you what an incredible experience it has been, especially as it comes to an end. The thought of going home soon leaves me speechless. I don't want to leave here... Missionary work is way too enjoyable. Seeing others change their lives... there's nothing like it. Not to mention the strength added to your personal testimony as well."

I've gained so much knowledge and experience in ward council, visiting teaching, coordinating, organizing, leading, and friendshipping in Relief Society that will affect the rest of my life. It is way too enjoyable. I've seen my sisters change their lives and had the opportunity to teach and befriend. It has helped me focus more on other people during this extremely selfish time of life. 

There has been so much strength added to my personal testimony as well. There were times at the beginning when I would just cry because it was too hard, it was too much time, I was too unqualified, etc. etc. But then I'd talk to my mom, and my grandma, and most of all the Lord, and be comforted, and lifted up, and reassured. I've gained such an amazing relationship working so closely with my bishop and his wife, and my testimony has been strengthened immensely. I've learned how to teach effectively and lovingly. Does this sound like a mission? I believe that this is my mission, at least for right now. I don't know if later the opportunity or desire to serve full-time will come up. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, that was a huge tangent. Today not only marks my day of birth, but the first day of finals week. Bleh. I discovered that I will have to take a final on my birthday in all my years of college, how lovely. I was not planning on much celebration but I was pleasantly surprised. I am blessed with so many thoughtful friends who made my birthday very happy indeed. But alas, I took a lot of liberties with my limited time today and am now have to really crack down on finals. Until those are over...ciao.

Rise and shout, this Cougar is out.

College life is up and running. Bekah sometimes gets up and goes running. We are still figuring this whole thing out. Wish us the best, and hope to hear more soon, because that will mean that we are surviving.

Again, I love writing to real people instead of the zero virtual eyes who read this blog. So again, here is an update in the form of a missionary letter:

My roommates are fabulous. They are all very nice and easy to live with. We don't have a lot of organization, like chore charts and dinner assignments, because it just gets done anyway. Everyone picks up after themselves, makes sure that no one needs the bathroom before we shower, vacuums twice a week. It's perfect. Bekah is the best roommate I could ever ask for. She is such a blessing in my life and I am very grateful to have her!

School is a grind. I love it. But I hate it. But it's amazing. But it's killing me. I am taking 14 credit hours and I am on campus at work and studying and in lectures from 8:00am to 6:00pm every day. My classes are all very interesting and I like attending lectures and lab hours, but the homework is death. Hours upon hours upon hours of just READING. So it's like, what do I study? What should I know for the exam? Who knows, so I just feel like I need to know all of it. Most of my teachers are great though.

Work is going well. I am working in the admissions office, and learning so much about what students go through in order to come to BYU. And it makes me even more grateful for the opportunity I have to be here, at little to no cost, studying with the best of the best. So even though school is hard and homework is annoying, I love it. And I feel extremely blessed for the circumstances I find myself in.

Our YSA ward is great. We have ward prayer every Sunday night, FHE on Mondays with 2 other apartments, and lots of intramurals. I am playing on an Ultimate Frisbee team and it is so fun. We're pretty good, too! I also have the opportunity/curse to be very involved with the ward, because I have been called to be the Relief Society President. I love it, but I just feel a little inadequate and a little bit wondering, "Why me? Why me, when I am stressing out to keep my scholarship and take lots of credit hours and work every day?" I am striving to have a better attitude and embrace the calling. It is extremely busy. And stressful. And emotionally draining.  

And rewarding. And beautiful. To be able to get to know the sisters in my ward on such a personal basis, and be provided with tangible opportunities to serve every day is amazing. I am grateful for those things. And I just pray that I can find time in my busy days to magnify this calling and do the best that I can. Also, I'm getting really good at delegating.  

Speaking of church, there's been a lot of it. In the last week, I have attended about fourteen hours of church meetings. Also in the last week, I have listened to four Apostles speak live. President Eyring, Elder Nelson, Elder Scott, and Elder Christofferson have given messages at the Inauguration, Regional Conference, and our Tuesday devotional. I feel so blessed to not only be earning a secular education here at BYU, but to have so many testimony building experiences available to me. I am inspired by so many people here. My testimony has grown so much. It's really different going to church without parents and YW leaders expecting me to be there. It's also really different having sacrament meeting in a YSA ward because it is absolutely silent. It's kind of eerie to not hear crying babies and complaining children while the Priesthood is passing the bread and water. I love it. Taking the Sacrament has been a completely different experience for me these last couple of weeks, and it's amazing what a difference that reverence makes. 

I have gone on quite a few dates already. Some with an RM from my grandma and grandpa's mission in Australia. He is clearly very interested and I am befuddled with how to tell him that I am clearly not interested at all. He is a nice person, though.  

The others have been with AH. Do you know him at all? I guess you could say we're dating. Wha?! It has all happened so fast, but I feel really wonderful about it. From the moment we met, I feel like there was this inherent trust where I could tell him anything without fear of judgement or "you're weird" and he was listening, and did the same. We have continued to spend a lot of time together- studying on campus, lunch dates, tennis, watching football at his apartment, jam sessions, walks around the block, night hikes up the canyon, four-wheeling at his cabin, football games, phone calls every night, just everything!  

He served his mission in North Carolina and got home a year ago in October. So even though he is three years older than me, he's only one semester ahead of me in school. I have found out pretty quickly that in college, age doesn't matter. He is almost 22. Which is a little bit freaky, if you think about it that way, but honestly, we're both just people and we're both just in college and figuring out what to do with our lives and like spending time together and I trust him and he is so fun and handsome and so it is all just really pretty great. Plus, I am almost 19, and that's pretty old too. 

I have found lots of time to play tennis. I love playing on the BYU courts, and I think of you every time I do! BYU had a match against USU this week, but unfortunately I couldn't go. Instead I went to a movie showing for my American Heritage class. 

I can't think of any other major updates. Hopefully you made it though that novel. I'm sure I would also have a lot more questions for you if I knew what was going on! Does your mom send out general updates?

...But the thing I have discovered with writing missionaries (and please tell me if this is true for you) is that they don't care much for questions about the mission, because they live and experience that every day. So as exciting as it is, it's not that exciting for all of your emails/letters to be focused on the mission.  

If I were a missionary, I would like to feel as if I had real connections at home that were telling me what was actually going on, instead of censoring for what missionaries are "supposed" to think about, etc. I mean, you are still a human being with family and friends and a life. Your focus is on the Lord for these two years, but on P days you get a little taste of home again. Please let me know if you'd like me to omit any details such as dating (because that is totally taboo for some missionaries) or something else like that. My main mission is to let you know that I support you! Now, I have successfully made this even more of a novel.  

I love you! I pray for you often. I hope Spanish is coming more naturally for you every single day. I have learned so many things about myself in these three short weeks of school, so far. I am grateful for eye-opening experiences. This college thing is so hard, but it is so worth it. And I'm positive that your mission is the same way. What have you learned about yourself in these last few weeks? 

Have a wonderful week. Be safe and good and trust in the Lord. That is what I have learned most of all during this short time. Sometimes I feel alone here at school, and need to remember to trust in the Lord. He is always with me. And He is always with you. Just turn to Him and include Him in all of your decisions. I'm sure you know that better than I do, but a reminder like that never hurts.  

Love, Nena

Catching up: via a letter to Max

Dear Maxie-Poo,

I'm sorry I haven't written you a letter for awhile. Mom always tells me when she is sealing an envelope and I begin writing you a letter, and it is consistently left unfinished. Not today.

Right now, all is well and peaceful at home. Dad and Jens and Grace and Ash and Anna and Jack are at Anderson Camp. That leaves you in Mexico. And only me and Mom and Gabriel at home. It is so quiet. And clean. Too quiet and clean, if you ask me. But it is nice everyonceinawhile. <-- Yes, that is one word. I don't remember much about Anderson Camp because I think I was 6 or 7 the last time I was privileged enough to attend. Mom and I just returned home from dinner at Robintino's- all by ourselves. I felt bad leaving for work this morning because she had no company except Gabriel.

Speaking of work... My last day at Gordon's Copyprint happened this week, on Tuesday. Surprisingly, I was very sad! J finally did get fired and he was the only things about that job I didn't really like, so I will miss it there.  Also, my last day of City Recreation (tennis and kid's kamp) was today. So sad. Now I won't have anything to do until I move down to Provo. Which, in case you were wondering, is in 24 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! Holy Hannah I am so excited. I already have a job lined up down there- working in the Admissions Office as a receptionist, 14 hrs a week. it's going to be perfect. Bekah and I have all sorts of wonderful plans. Did I tell you about my roommates? 2 of them are from Texas. The others haven't responded to any emails.

Mom says I can't use more than one page, so now I have to use a pen that won't bleed through the paper. Holy cow, Max. This summer has been so long, yet somehow just flown by. I feel weird being in this limbo stage because it feels like a lifetime ago that I graduated high school but I am so close to college. Ya know?

I have been on a hecka lot of dates lately. 19 in 4 weeks. It's so fun! Haha and a little bit ridiculous. I have been wondering at what point will I stop thinking about S and comparing all these boys I meet to him? Hasn't happened yet. But...it is getting a little difficult to write S because he hardly gives me any response. Like he'll reply pretty regularly, but never more than a few words. Laaamme. I don't really know why. He is just trying to use his time in the best/most effective way as a missionary? He doesn't care about me? He doesn't remember he cares about me? Oh well. Not a huge deal.

I keep looking around at the munchkins who live here... I mean, our family, and thinking about how weird it will be to not be around them all the time. I am excited to get out of Mom's chore rotation. I think that's the only thing I am excited about leaving. The rest I will miss. And the rest of my excitement is just for the new things in Provo, not because I am just dying to leave home. In fact, I am heartbroken over leaving home. I have had to say goodbye to so many dear friends over the last year- leaving me for missions and college... It's so weird when it is my turn, people are saying goodbye to me. You know? Just a part of life, I s'pose.

Life is good.  Life is weird. Sometime I feel like I am just pretending and waiting for real life to begin. I love you so much and hope all is going well.  I talk to someone almost everyday about what a wonderful missionary you are. You teach me every week even though we are so far apart. I love you.

Your adoring little sister,

nena

The Mission Decision.

This has been weighing on my mind ever since President Monson announced that I can begin missionary service at age nineteen.

Prior to October 2012 I had not considered serving a full-time mission. The timing never seemed to fit in my plan of college and marriage and babies. And frankly, I didn't have a desire. A mission was not for me. When the prophetic age change was revealed, I was immediately overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and worry. I felt I had to make the decision to serve my mission right away. These feelings persisted for months, fed by pressure from everyone around me. The age change was a hot topic, but I never felt quite comfortable sharing exactly what I had on my mind. People would ask me nearly every day, "Are you going to serve a mission?" Friends, family, neighbors, strangers.. Others around me were excited. Oh, I wanted to be excited. But the only answer--the most truthful answer--I could give was I DON'T KNOW. I felt lame. Inadequate. "Not spiritual enough."

Fast forward six months to April General Conference.. Should I serve a mission? I begged for a lightning-bolt answer to my question. In pursuit of that answer, I took extensive notes on all five sessions. And I am oh so glad I did. Never have I felt the influence of the Holy Ghost quite like I did during those ten hours, and reading those notes allows me to re-experience those promptings. I did not receive the answer I was looking for. But.. After listening intently to inspired speakers and prophets, I came to the conclusion that it's okay not to know. My worry dissipated and I felt assured that when the time came, I would be able to make the right decision.

A short time later, I talked to my bishop about the possibility of a full-time mission. He gave me the best advice I've heard yet: PREPARE for missionary service, no matter what. Financially, emotionally, spiritually.. When it comes time, the only factor will then be God's will.  If I am supposed to serve a mission, I will know. And I will be prepared. If I am not supposed to serve a mission, I will know. And my preparation will benefit every other aspect of my life.

It has now been a year and half since I began thinking about my mission. First it was a source of worry, tension, confusion. Now I feel excitement, peace, and comfort. I know now that I will serve a mission.

My mission might be serving in my ward at BYU, starting my own family, or being sent somewhere in this great big world to share the gospel.. I still don't know that part! There are many missions for me to fulfill. I believe that I will receive an answer when the time comes. And if I don't receive "yes" or "no," I'll take that as a sign of His trust in my ability to choose. These are all good things and I want to experience all of them. But for now, I will simply prepare. And be happy! This gospel brings me so much joy and I try to share it everyday, even if I don't wear a black name-tag.

(The Mission Decision: Brittany Beattie)