Thoughts about covenants.

 Throughout the course of this semester, I have gained a greater understanding of Christ’s Atonement and how to apply it in my own life. I have also learned a great deal more about the covenants I have made through baptism and sacrament ordinances, and am now preparing to make in the temple. The purpose of this paper is to further explore the meaning of “covenants” as stated in Mosiah 18:8-10, and how I can continue to prepare to make eternal promises with our Heavenly Father.

The first covenant I would like to discuss is the first essential covenant we make to enter into the kingdom of God: that is, baptism. Mosiah 18:8-10 states:

“And now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light;

“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrections, that ye may have eternal life-

“Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you.”

There are several main points in this passage of scripture that I’d like to address: First of all, it is made clear that those who make covenants with God must be desirous and willing. I recently attended the baptism of Simon, who lives in my YSA ward here in Provo. He has been attending BYU as a non-LDS student and after investigating the Church, chose to be baptized. At the end of the meeting, our bishop said something that struck me. He addressed Simon, and told him that many people have served him over the last years and months to be prepared to enter into the waters of baptism; but now, as a member of the Church and a disciple of Christ, it is his responsibility to serve others. It is very evident that Simon understood the covenant that he just made with God, as spelled out in D&C 20:37:

 “All those who humble themselves before God and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hears and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end…”

Simon is an example to me because he is clearly full of desire to join the ranks with Jesus Christ through the covenant of baptism. I imagine that it would be a difficult decision as an 18 year-old young man, 2000 miles away from home and family to change his entire lifestyle. However, it is not that hard to envision in my own life, because throughout this semester, I have learned that I make that same commitment each week when I take the sacrament. Partaking of the bread and water is a literal renewal of all of the covenants I have made.

I have already covenanted with my Heavenly Father by being baptized at age eight and partaking of the sacrament each week. I keep my end of this two-way promise by humbly repenting of my sins and all of the aforementioned things. In return, I can be worthy to have the Spirit of God accompany me through out my life, as long as I am living worthily. Honoring baptismal covenants is an important part of making all of the covenants on the path to eternal life. As I honor my baptismal covenants, I am also preparing to make other covenants. The next covenant is the endowment.

I have not yet received my endowment, but attending a temple preparation class helped me to better understand what covenants I will be making when I do. These instructions and covenants will prepare me for the blessings of eternal life as long as I am faithful to my end of the promise. In my temple preparation class, I learned that contrary to previous policy, I do not have to wait to receive my endowment until I am about to leave on a mission or be married. My instructor told me that a new statement given by the Brethren of the First Presidency has encouraged bishops and stake presidents to be aware of this policy change. Knowing this has changed my outlook on preparing to make covenants with God. I want to let my endowment—a personal experience about my own eternal progression—be a separate experience from my wedding or impending mission, so that I will not be distracted from the importance of my covenants. I hope that this will let my endowment experience be very personal and meaningful. Because I now know that I can prepare to enter the temple before I go on a mission or get married, my desire and motivation to do so has increased exponentially. I have been studying the Plan of Salvation and trying to improve many areas of my life in preparation to make covenants in the temple, alongside keeping my baptismal covenants. I also learned this semester that partaking of the sacrament not only renews baptismal covenants, but all promises and covenants made with our Heavenly Father.

Going back to the theme of this paper as found in Mosiah 18, one of my promises to Heavenly Father necessary to keep my covenants with him is to “stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places,” which is also included in the Young Women Theme. I have been reciting this convicting statement ever since I was twelve years old. This means to me that I will act in accordance with His will across all situations and against all opposition. I consider myself lucky that I have not encountered many opposing forces to my faith, however, by reading and understanding this scripture I have learned that the request to stand as a witness of God did not end when I graduated out of the Young Women’s program.

D&C 66:2 says:

“Blessed are you for receiving mine everlasting covenant, even the fullness of my gospel, sent forth unto the children of men, that they might have life and be made partakers of the glories which are to be revealed in the last days.”

God is so good. He provides me with opportunities to exercise faith and trust by allowing me to make covenants with Him. Even though I already experience many benefits from these covenants, He continues to pour out blessings of the fullness of the gospel and offers unfathomable glory in the kingdoms to come. Throughout this semester—by taking a Book of Mormon class and attending temple preparation, by learning more about the sacrament and studying the Plan of Salvation—I have developed my relationship with my Heavenly Father exponentially. I have a better understanding of Christ’s atonement and how it is applicable in my life, and I strive to understand the importance of making and keeping my covenants with God. As stated in the July 2012 Ensign article, “keeping our covenants is a commitment to become like the Savior” (Understanding Our Covenants with God). I am committed to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ, and thus will strive for the rest of my life to keep the covenants that are made possible through Him. 

Happy birthday to me.

Can you believe I'm NINETEEN. It just seems so old. Only one year away from 20. It is even weirder that I could be on a mission right now if I wanted.

Speaking of going on missions...I have given more thought to the possibility. Technically, I could have submitted my papers back in August and be leaving in a couple weeks. However, I have counseled with my parents, and my bishop, and the Lord most of all. At this point a mission is not in my plans. I don't know how I feel about that. Well, I feel at peace about it. In a way, I would really love to serve a mission. I loved going on splits with the sisters, I love teaching, I love being immersed in the gospel, I always feel so much desire to have these experiences that all of my peers and friends are having when I read their letters (to be honest, I'm so jealous). It seems like a mission would be the most perfect thing for me. I often get told that too, by church leaders and family members and dear friends. But that's part of the reason why I feel so at peace with my answer... Even though I would like to serve a mission, I just know that it's not for me. Not because I don't want to, not because I can't... Because I kind of do want to and I can. But I believe there must be something else in store for me, and I don't know what that is yet. 

For this year at least, it is serving as the RS president in my ward in Provo. If I was leaving on a mission right now, I would not be able to do that, and in the last 4 months I have seen so many wonderful things, just like one of my friends described from his mission: 

"You'll never gain as much knowledge and experience as you will on a mission. I can't tell you what an incredible experience it has been, especially as it comes to an end. The thought of going home soon leaves me speechless. I don't want to leave here... Missionary work is way too enjoyable. Seeing others change their lives... there's nothing like it. Not to mention the strength added to your personal testimony as well."

I've gained so much knowledge and experience in ward council, visiting teaching, coordinating, organizing, leading, and friendshipping in Relief Society that will affect the rest of my life. It is way too enjoyable. I've seen my sisters change their lives and had the opportunity to teach and befriend. It has helped me focus more on other people during this extremely selfish time of life. 

There has been so much strength added to my personal testimony as well. There were times at the beginning when I would just cry because it was too hard, it was too much time, I was too unqualified, etc. etc. But then I'd talk to my mom, and my grandma, and most of all the Lord, and be comforted, and lifted up, and reassured. I've gained such an amazing relationship working so closely with my bishop and his wife, and my testimony has been strengthened immensely. I've learned how to teach effectively and lovingly. Does this sound like a mission? I believe that this is my mission, at least for right now. I don't know if later the opportunity or desire to serve full-time will come up. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, that was a huge tangent. Today not only marks my day of birth, but the first day of finals week. Bleh. I discovered that I will have to take a final on my birthday in all my years of college, how lovely. I was not planning on much celebration but I was pleasantly surprised. I am blessed with so many thoughtful friends who made my birthday very happy indeed. But alas, I took a lot of liberties with my limited time today and am now have to really crack down on finals. Until those are over...ciao.

Doing vs. Becoming

Elder Dallin H. Oaks- The Challenge to Become

I was extremely touched by this talk. My life often feels like an endless to-do list and it is difficult to see the fruits of my labors as I trudge on to the next checklist. However, Elder Oaks teaches the principle of becoming rather than doing. The gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.  I learned from his article that to TESTIFY is to know and declare; but to be CONVERTED is to do and become. As we become disciples of Christ, it is second nature to think as He would, act as He would, and say what he would have you say. I believe the golden rule is not to treat others as they would like to be treated, but to treat others the way He would treat them. In our reading for this week, we learn in Alma chapter 12 that we are not condemned merely on our thoughts, words, and actions. If we were judged on the things that we had done, rather than the person we have become, that would be contrary to the teachings of Christ. We can all be saved through His atonement, which is available to every person who has lived on earth. It is available to all, but we must take advantage of it. Christ knew that he sacrificed in advance for some who would not utilize this great blessing, but He loves us so much that He would make that sacrifice whether we use it or not. I am so thankful for the blessing of the Atonement in my life, and the chance that it gives me to become more like the Savior throughout and despite all of my mistakes and challenges.

Am I ready?

A huge theme for class this week was covenants, which were found in the supplemental reading, “Understanding My Covenants with God,” and in Mosiah 18:8-10. We learned that making and keeping covenants with Christ is essential to receive eternal salvation. I was reminded that if I want the full blessings of the atonement, I must make covenants.

I am currently attending a temple preparation class instead of Sunday School. I don’t have a mission call, and I’m not getting married in the foreseeable future, so one might ask why I am taking Temple Prep. Since covenants have been on my mind this week, my lesson in Temple Prep today was especially meaningful. It was the last week in a series of lessons to help me prepare to receive my endowment. Something that my instructor said really hit home- he said, “Your endowment does not have to be triggered by a mission or a marriage! The question is, simply, Are you ready to make covenants?”  

As I learn more about covenants, my desire grows to be ready to make them. I am thankful for the preparation I receive regularly in religion classes, personal study, and church attendance, and soon I want to be able to answer, “Yes. I am ready." To make covenants with Christ that will lead to my eternal happiness.

True Conversion

I loved Elder Whetten’s general conference talk about true conversion and service. In high school, I had the opportunity to serve on seminary council, a group of students who were leaders in our seminary program. I cannot even begin to tell you how many hours of service that constituted. But even more so, I cannot begin to express the pure happiness I felt in that time of my life. Despite experiencing deep personal trials during that year, I felt joy when I served and I felt myself coming closer to my Heavenly Father. One of our advisors often told us, “An invitation offered in love will never offend.” I agree with this wholeheartedly and I think it goes along well with Elder Whetten’s general conference talk, because he noted that “love should be at the heart of all service.”

Service is a sign of true conversion, and it is a means of consecrating lives to helping others just like the Savior did. Thinking about the life of the Savior can be intimidating, but then I consider all of the small acts of service that He gave (gives) each day. I can serve in big ways by volunteering for organizations or fulfilling my calling, but I can also serve in little ways by saying hello, or washing my roommate’s dishes, or wiping out the fridge. Even though these acts of service are “little” and perhaps of little consequence to my own life, they could be the difference between a good and a bad day for someone else. When we are willing to serve and humble enough to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we are capable of being instruments in the Lord’s hands and angels in the lives of others around us.

Mosiah 1:3-4

“Were it not for these plates, which contain these records and these commandments, we must have suffered in ignorance, even at this present time, not knowing the mysteries of God….Lehi did teach them to his children, that thereby they could teach them to their children, and so fulfilling the commandments of God, even down to this present time.”

I do not know when I marked these verses, but I am so glad I did. It caused me to pause in my reading and consider what meaning I must have gleaned from them before. One of the most effective ways for me to read scripture is by putting myself in the present situation: when I read those words in Mosiah, I think, “Were it not for these scriptures, I would be suffering in ignorance. The scriptures are given to me at this day for the purpose of fulfilling the commandments of God. My parents used the scriptures to teach me, and one day I must also teach my children the word of God.”

I am so thankful to be born of goodly parents, as Nephi would say. My mom and dad reared me in the gospel and taught me essential truths that carry my testimony today. My dad is a scriptorian, and knows the word of God inside and out. Not only does he know the words, but he also lives them. He is a wonderful example—like Lehi—of teaching the word to his children and “so fulfilling the commandments of God.” I hope to fulfill this commandment as well, when I have a family of my own. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have to study the word of God, and my testimony is strengthened as I do.

Jacob 1:15

“And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own head if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day.”

I have held many callings in my life, and that will continue as long as I am active in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some of those callings are bound by time, such as “counselor,” “visiting teacher,” and “Relief Society president.” Some of my callings will last forever, such as “big sister,” “daughter,” and “friend.” Some of my callings, like “mother” and “companion,” have not come yet. These callings are all very different, yet they have one thing in common. They all are given to teach me how to serve after the manner of Jesus Christ.

Jacob and Joseph magnified their Priesthood callings. I do not hold the Priesthood, but I know that I can still draw upon its power when fulfilling my own callings. Right now as the RS president of my YSA ward, I feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained. But I also feel so much joy when I am able to get to know the sisters in my ward and serve them. I just pray that I can find time each day to magnify this calling and do my best so that when I answer to God, I can be confident.

Welcome, God.

I am writing my journal this week on my experience with Elder Ballard’s talk, “The Joy of Hope Fulfilled.” The main point that I received from this talk was that the Lord is in control. Elder Ballard quoted Doctrine and Covenants 6:43, which reads, “Fear not little flock. Do good. Look unto God in every thought.”

God has always been an essential part of my home, family, and life in general. I grew up in the gospel and I don’t think a day has gone by when I haven’t communicated with God in at least one blessing of the food with my family. However, in the last few weeks, I have found myself coming closer and closer to this admonishment in my own personal life. I now cherish my relationship with God because I depend on it. He gets me through the hard days and listens no matter what.

One of my dear friends has a habit of praying before every single meal, even at restaurants or in a noisy food court. He doesn’t do it to show off righteousness, it is always very subtle and humble. Recently, I pointed this out to him and said that I really admired that habit (it is one that I could definitely improve on). He told me about a scripture that he came across while on his mission. It is 2 Nephi 32:8 which reads, "For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray."

In a roundabout way, this scripture shows the power that can be drawn from having the Lord in our every thought. The Lord is in control and he is aware of me individually. Jesus Christ has atoned for me and His sacrifice gives me peace, comfort, and refuge. The least I can do in return is to let Him into my life and “look unto Him in every thought.”

Do you ever just delight in the gospel?

On Thursday this week, we discussed a passage in 2 Nephi 11:4-6. It reads:

“4 Behold, my soul delighteth in proving unto my people the truth of the coming of Christ; for, for this end hath the law of Moses been given; and all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him.

 5 And also my soul delighteth in the covenants of the Lord which he hath made to our fathers; yea, my soul delighteth in his grace, and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.

6 And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish.”

We were asked the rhetorical question- do you ever just delight in the gospel? For my journal this week, I want to answer that question with a resounding “Yes!” I delight in the coming of Christ. I delight in knowing that soon I will be able to make more covenants with the Lord in His holy temple. I delight in the grace of the Savior and in His Atonement. I delight in my testimony:

I delight in the Atonement. I know that it can be drawn upon not only for repentance from sin, but for relief from pain, for comfort, for understanding, and much more. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and am only beginning to know and understand Him in my life. I am nowhere close to perfect, but through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can draw closer to Jesus and become more like Him. I strive to emulate His countenance each day.

I delight in my family. They are essential to my happiness. I spend quality time with my family whenever possible, and I believe that by living righteously according to the commandments of God, I can be with them forever, into the eternities.I  know that families are central to Heavenly Father's plan of Salvation and I can't wait to create my own. I delight in my aspiration to be a mother in Israel, and I also hope to rear my children in the teachings of the Church. 

I have a strong testimony of the Word of Wisdom and the gift of our physical bodies. I know that my body is a gift and that I must treat it as a temple of God. Because that's exactly what it is! I have a testimony of temples, and I have no stronger desire than to go to the temple for myself to learn more about God's plan and make lasting covenants with Him. I have an intense testimony of Priesthood power. I know that it is truly the power of God and I am so thankful for men who exercise it worthily.

I delight in the opportunity I had this weekend to review my patriarchal blessing and listen to prophets speak in General Conference. I have a testimony of personal revelation. I know that everyone is entitled to receive their own personal revelation and I have experienced that connection with heaven for myself. I also know that we are led by true and living prophets who receive divine revelations that speak to me directly, and the Church as a whole.

I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon that grows each time I read.  I know it comes from God because it gives me peace and happiness and wonder when I study it. I have felt the spirit of the Restoration in the Sacred Grove and I know and love Joseph Smith. This is just a small inkling of my testimony, but these things I share in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Am I merely a player?

A few days ago in class, we discussed the principle the Elder Bednar taught in a conference address and that Nephi taught in the second chapter of the second book of Nephi: To act, or be acted upon. “To act” is to take initiative and be proactive. It leads to happiness and effectiveness. The difference between being proactive and simply being acted upon is the use of the gift of agency. We are free to choose a) liberty, freedom, and eternal life or b) captivity and death, as taught in the scriptures. There are four essential ingredients that make our choices a matter of agency (like choosing between Sprite and beer, rather than just choosing Sprite or 7-Up). They are:

1. Knowledge of good and evil.

2. Opposition.

3. Law

4. Having the power to choose

I have had many experiences in my life that exhibit the difference between “acting” and being “acted upon.” Most recently is the adjustment into college life. I know from a couple of rough days that if I let myself simply be “acted upon” and not make conscious choices about how I spend my time, I quickly run out of time and find myself stressed and flustered. It is essential for me to make checklists and choices every day in order to fit in all of the necessary things. Relating to the analogy we’ve all heard before- as long as I fit the essential pebbles in my jar first, it is easy to fit the fun sand in between the cracks. I am learning this more and more each day. Some of the choices I make don’t seem to have eternal consequence, but I know that each decision will either benefit or harm my character, and as I strive to choose the things that Jesus would, I can come close to God.

I should really start doing family history work.

This week, we were asked to read an address given by President Uchtdorf in July at a city-wide celebration for the Ogden Temple dedication. He said, “Our pioneer ancestors will be most pleased if you learn something from their sacrifice, and if it makes a difference to you and your children.” He used the hymn “Come, Come Ye Saints” as a point of reference for his talk. Pioneers sang the words, “All is well.” Actually, all was not well, but their happiness was not based on outward circumstances. The pioneers learned to have faith and trust in God. The best way that I can show my gratitude to my pioneer ancestors is by incorporating faithfulness, compassion, love, industry, optimism, and joy into my own life.

I have had many opportunities to learn about my pioneer ancestors. I was lucky enough to attend trek twice- once when I was fourteen, and most recently, this summer. The experiences that I had while re-enacting what the pioneers went through have shaped the person I am today. It gave me a reason to research my own ancestors, and when I learned about the specific things they went through, I felt a connection to them. From this connection, I feel a stronger desire to find my ancestors through FamilySearch and do their temple work. When I have family names to take to the temple, my experience is so much more meaningful and it makes me excited to go through and take out my own endowments. So, you see, learning about my family ties makes them happy, makes me happy, and will benefit my future family for eternities to come.

Rise and shout, this Cougar is out.

College life is up and running. Bekah sometimes gets up and goes running. We are still figuring this whole thing out. Wish us the best, and hope to hear more soon, because that will mean that we are surviving.

Again, I love writing to real people instead of the zero virtual eyes who read this blog. So again, here is an update in the form of a missionary letter:

My roommates are fabulous. They are all very nice and easy to live with. We don't have a lot of organization, like chore charts and dinner assignments, because it just gets done anyway. Everyone picks up after themselves, makes sure that no one needs the bathroom before we shower, vacuums twice a week. It's perfect. Bekah is the best roommate I could ever ask for. She is such a blessing in my life and I am very grateful to have her!

School is a grind. I love it. But I hate it. But it's amazing. But it's killing me. I am taking 14 credit hours and I am on campus at work and studying and in lectures from 8:00am to 6:00pm every day. My classes are all very interesting and I like attending lectures and lab hours, but the homework is death. Hours upon hours upon hours of just READING. So it's like, what do I study? What should I know for the exam? Who knows, so I just feel like I need to know all of it. Most of my teachers are great though.

Work is going well. I am working in the admissions office, and learning so much about what students go through in order to come to BYU. And it makes me even more grateful for the opportunity I have to be here, at little to no cost, studying with the best of the best. So even though school is hard and homework is annoying, I love it. And I feel extremely blessed for the circumstances I find myself in.

Our YSA ward is great. We have ward prayer every Sunday night, FHE on Mondays with 2 other apartments, and lots of intramurals. I am playing on an Ultimate Frisbee team and it is so fun. We're pretty good, too! I also have the opportunity/curse to be very involved with the ward, because I have been called to be the Relief Society President. I love it, but I just feel a little inadequate and a little bit wondering, "Why me? Why me, when I am stressing out to keep my scholarship and take lots of credit hours and work every day?" I am striving to have a better attitude and embrace the calling. It is extremely busy. And stressful. And emotionally draining.  

And rewarding. And beautiful. To be able to get to know the sisters in my ward on such a personal basis, and be provided with tangible opportunities to serve every day is amazing. I am grateful for those things. And I just pray that I can find time in my busy days to magnify this calling and do the best that I can. Also, I'm getting really good at delegating.  

Speaking of church, there's been a lot of it. In the last week, I have attended about fourteen hours of church meetings. Also in the last week, I have listened to four Apostles speak live. President Eyring, Elder Nelson, Elder Scott, and Elder Christofferson have given messages at the Inauguration, Regional Conference, and our Tuesday devotional. I feel so blessed to not only be earning a secular education here at BYU, but to have so many testimony building experiences available to me. I am inspired by so many people here. My testimony has grown so much. It's really different going to church without parents and YW leaders expecting me to be there. It's also really different having sacrament meeting in a YSA ward because it is absolutely silent. It's kind of eerie to not hear crying babies and complaining children while the Priesthood is passing the bread and water. I love it. Taking the Sacrament has been a completely different experience for me these last couple of weeks, and it's amazing what a difference that reverence makes. 

I have gone on quite a few dates already. Some with an RM from my grandma and grandpa's mission in Australia. He is clearly very interested and I am befuddled with how to tell him that I am clearly not interested at all. He is a nice person, though.  

The others have been with AH. Do you know him at all? I guess you could say we're dating. Wha?! It has all happened so fast, but I feel really wonderful about it. From the moment we met, I feel like there was this inherent trust where I could tell him anything without fear of judgement or "you're weird" and he was listening, and did the same. We have continued to spend a lot of time together- studying on campus, lunch dates, tennis, watching football at his apartment, jam sessions, walks around the block, night hikes up the canyon, four-wheeling at his cabin, football games, phone calls every night, just everything!  

He served his mission in North Carolina and got home a year ago in October. So even though he is three years older than me, he's only one semester ahead of me in school. I have found out pretty quickly that in college, age doesn't matter. He is almost 22. Which is a little bit freaky, if you think about it that way, but honestly, we're both just people and we're both just in college and figuring out what to do with our lives and like spending time together and I trust him and he is so fun and handsome and so it is all just really pretty great. Plus, I am almost 19, and that's pretty old too. 

I have found lots of time to play tennis. I love playing on the BYU courts, and I think of you every time I do! BYU had a match against USU this week, but unfortunately I couldn't go. Instead I went to a movie showing for my American Heritage class. 

I can't think of any other major updates. Hopefully you made it though that novel. I'm sure I would also have a lot more questions for you if I knew what was going on! Does your mom send out general updates?

...But the thing I have discovered with writing missionaries (and please tell me if this is true for you) is that they don't care much for questions about the mission, because they live and experience that every day. So as exciting as it is, it's not that exciting for all of your emails/letters to be focused on the mission.  

If I were a missionary, I would like to feel as if I had real connections at home that were telling me what was actually going on, instead of censoring for what missionaries are "supposed" to think about, etc. I mean, you are still a human being with family and friends and a life. Your focus is on the Lord for these two years, but on P days you get a little taste of home again. Please let me know if you'd like me to omit any details such as dating (because that is totally taboo for some missionaries) or something else like that. My main mission is to let you know that I support you! Now, I have successfully made this even more of a novel.  

I love you! I pray for you often. I hope Spanish is coming more naturally for you every single day. I have learned so many things about myself in these three short weeks of school, so far. I am grateful for eye-opening experiences. This college thing is so hard, but it is so worth it. And I'm positive that your mission is the same way. What have you learned about yourself in these last few weeks? 

Have a wonderful week. Be safe and good and trust in the Lord. That is what I have learned most of all during this short time. Sometimes I feel alone here at school, and need to remember to trust in the Lord. He is always with me. And He is always with you. Just turn to Him and include Him in all of your decisions. I'm sure you know that better than I do, but a reminder like that never hurts.  

Love, Nena

Avoiding the murmur trap.

Despite having grown up in the same household, same environment, and same time period, there are many things that make Nephi stand apart from his older brothers. In our reading for September 9 (1 Nephi 1-6), I learned about the differences between Nephi and Samuel versus Laman and Lemuel. In class we discussed “filters.” How do I see my life around me?

I have been learning this week especially, as I come in contact with many new people each day, that my filter is unique. I walk down the path from my apartment to campus, and see others walking in the same direction, perhaps even to the same class. I am often preoccupied with my own thoughts. However, I have been trying to be more altruistic this week and consider what others may be seeing through their filters.

Some people may obey because they are afraid of punishment. Some people may obey because it is socially acceptable. Nephi obeyed because he knew God. I strive to be like Nephi in this sense, and make choices based on my testimony, rather than making choices based on what others think of me. In this transition period, it has been interesting to see others make choices without the guidance and encouragement of their parents, and to ponder how I am making those choices. It would be easy to stay out late each night or forego scripture study and prayer. However, I find comfort in the routines that I have grown up with and feel peace when I choose to come closer to God.

In class, we discussed “the murmur trap.” The things that Laman and Lemuel complained about were almost always true. But so what? The problem isn’t the events, but the filter in which we see the events. My goal is to be like Nephi more often, and view my trials and hard experiences as opportunities to learn and grow.

Safety for the Soul

Elder Holland—October 2009

One of the worst large-scale calamities is the enemy of truth. Satan is all around us, at all times. He specifically targets that which he does not have- a body. He also targets the Book of Mormon, because it has brought forth the fullness and restoration of the gospel. The Book of Mormon has been attacked and denied for 179 years, and still it stands true. No amount of research can add up to disprove the Book of Mormon, because there is no other answer. The fullest measure of faith comes through embracing the divinity of the Book of Mormon. I hope that by the end of this class, I will have developed a greater testimony of the Book of Mormon. I believe in its truthfulness, and through that I have a testimony of Joseph Smith, of Jesus Christ, and of the reality of the Second Coming. Now, I just want a better understanding of the teachings and principles that are scattered throughout this great book. Hopefully as I learn more about how I can apply those principles in my life, I will be better prepared to be a missionary, to be a wife and mother, and to face my Savior in the Second Coming. It’s great to read the Book of Mormon; I’ve done that since I was young. But this semester, I want to learn how to truly study and apply the Book of Mormon. I want to live it. And by doing so, I can create “a safety for my soul.”

"Insurance"

My name is Nena and I am eighteen years old. I am an avid tennis player and a semi-professional sleeper. I wish I could say that I like running, but I have tried and failed too many times to feel honest about that tidbit. I like to eat cookies and spinach and milk, not necessarily together. Born and raised in Davis County UT—surrounded by immediate and extended family—I don’t consider myself extremely cultured. I am perfectly at ease with that realization.

 As the oldest daughter of eight children, I do however consider myself well versed in Disney songs and SpongeBob episodes. Let’s begin with the youngest—Gabriel—who is eleven months old. His jowls are reminiscent of Elder Holland’s, which is a good thing because he is clearly an amazing man. Jack is three and Anna is eight going on fifteen. They are the beautiful ones of the family and they know it. Ashlei is the tender age of ten, and she enjoys waking up in the early morning to read less-than-noteworthy literature before school. Grace began high school this year, and I am quite jealous that she gets to play on the tennis team. Jens is a junior, sixteen years old, and a total lady slayer. My oldest brother—Max—is twenty and currently serving a mission in Mexico City. My parents met in high school, dated, went to Hawaii and Canada for school and a mission, got engaged ten days after my dad returned home, and the rest is history. We are a happy family!

We are a happy family. My home truly is my favorite place to be. As excited as I am for school here at BYU, it is difficult to know that Gabe is cutting teeth and Jack is starting preschool and Anna is breaking hearts and Ash is growing up and Grace is finding her niche and Jens is dating girls without my approval, all while I am gone. At least Max is still on his mission so I’m not the only one away. It has been a transition to say the least: living with one really clean, really quiet, really wonderful person as opposed to nine really messy, really loud, really wonderful people. I love it.

I am unequivocally grateful for the opportunity that is mine to continue my education here at BYU. Already, I am being pulled from every direction. My classes are rigorous and time-consuming. My job is not so rigorous, but equally time-consuming. My calling is insanely rigorous and very time-consuming. Yet, simultaneously I feel immense joy from the service and education and love and patience and people-skills and humility that come with these duties. So with the help of a day-planner and the comforting influence of the Holy Spirit, I know that I can do this.

            You may think I am your typical Mormon: born into the covenant, baptized at age eight, gone to church with my large family for my whole entire life. While all of those statements are true, I am not your typical Mormon. How can something that is so personal and sacred to me be merely typical? I digress. My testimony is not ordinary, nor is it complete. My goal this year is to continue to develop a working, trusting relationship with Heavenly Father. That is my desire, and it is also a necessity. I love my Savior Jesus Christ and am only beginning to know and understand Him in my life. I have a testimony of the Atonement. I know that it can be drawn upon for comfort, for understanding, and for a lot of love.