Belonging

I spent some time pondering this quote from a recent RS lesson that taught/reinforced some specific attributes of homes and temples that make them sacred.

Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.

I belong in my home and nobody questions that. My parents welcome me when I walk in the door with a smile and open arms, offering food and laughter and sustenance. It doesn't matter what I look like when I am home; no one is judging my appearance. I can feel completely comfortable in my own skin, and those at home love me for all of the right reasons.

Similarly, I belong in the temple. My Heavenly parents welcome me with an outpouring of the the Holy Ghost as I walk inside, offering spiritual nourishment, joy, and strength. It doesn't matter who is most fashionable in the temple; no one is judging my appearance there either. We dress in pure white to represent the fact that we are all equal in God's eyes.

A few weeks ago, I was doing baptisms for the dead at the temple, and had the opportunity to speak with the temple president. I expressed my plans to be endowed soon and my heart was burning with a desire to know what else I could do to prepare for my first endowment session. Rather than providing me with some unique study plan, he simply commended my preparation and told me that I belong in the temple. As long as I am true to myself and to God, I can walk in those golden doors, feel a sense of peace, and give all of my worries away. I am so excited to enter the temple for my washing and anointing, and to receive my endowment. I have been striving for years to feel worthy and prepared. The day is coming soon. I'm not sure just when it will be, but I can't wait!

My goal is renewed to have this same temple-like spirit in my own home as I navigate through college, and eventually learn how to be a wife and mother. I can make my apartment a sacred place. I can invite the Holy Ghost into my home. I want my home to be a refuge for everyone who walks inside, always. I feel the same happy feelings inside the temple as I do inside my home and vice versa. This is because those sacred environments are a little sneak peek to my heavenly home. And there, in the kingdom with my Father, is where I ultimately belong.

Long time...

...No post. It's been awhile. In the last thirteen months, I have been accepted to nursing school. I have reached my halfway mark of college. I have fallen in love. I have experienced a broken heart. I have tasted death (okay that one was a little dramatic). I have learned more than ever before how to experience a mighty change of heart.

I don't really know what to write here. I feel a need to catch up on everything that has happened in the last year. I could talk about my severe allergic reaction over finals week last December. I could talk about how I thought I was going to marry my bf and the grief and loss and confusion I felt over our breakup. I could talk about how joyous the reunions were when my brother max came home from his mission and my best friend Rebekah came home from London. I could talk about the stressors and blessings of nursing school. I could talk about my evolving relationship with my parents. I could talk about how I purchased a car and feel like a real adult. I could talk about my road trip to Portland OR with friends. I could talk about the BWE and all of our adventures and fun and testimony building experiences with Bishop Rasmussen. I could talk about our temple trip with family history and learning how to research my ancestors. I could talk about pathophysiology. I could talk about any of these things for days and still never feel caught up.

But alas. That is a near impossible task and I would prefer to live in the moment.

It is April 25th 2016. I am twenty years old. I am between semesters. I just rocked finals and finished my first year of nursing school. In two days, I will begin spring term to catch up on GE requirements. My heart is healed and I have a new boyfriend, Dave. Bekah is home (it still doesn't feel real) and I can't wait to live with her again. I am HAPPY.

I am happy because I know my family loves me. I am happy because i love my ward. I am happy because I have learned about the Savior and how present He can be in my life. I am happy because I have my best friend in the whole entire world living next door to me. I am happy because David makes me laugh every single day.

I feel so blessed. I love BYU, and Provo, and feeling at home here. I am excited to see what the next thirteen months has to bring, but hopefully i will keep better track of the goings-on so this time.