Welcome, God.

I am writing my journal this week on my experience with Elder Ballard’s talk, “The Joy of Hope Fulfilled.” The main point that I received from this talk was that the Lord is in control. Elder Ballard quoted Doctrine and Covenants 6:43, which reads, “Fear not little flock. Do good. Look unto God in every thought.”

God has always been an essential part of my home, family, and life in general. I grew up in the gospel and I don’t think a day has gone by when I haven’t communicated with God in at least one blessing of the food with my family. However, in the last few weeks, I have found myself coming closer and closer to this admonishment in my own personal life. I now cherish my relationship with God because I depend on it. He gets me through the hard days and listens no matter what.

One of my dear friends has a habit of praying before every single meal, even at restaurants or in a noisy food court. He doesn’t do it to show off righteousness, it is always very subtle and humble. Recently, I pointed this out to him and said that I really admired that habit (it is one that I could definitely improve on). He told me about a scripture that he came across while on his mission. It is 2 Nephi 32:8 which reads, "For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray."

In a roundabout way, this scripture shows the power that can be drawn from having the Lord in our every thought. The Lord is in control and he is aware of me individually. Jesus Christ has atoned for me and His sacrifice gives me peace, comfort, and refuge. The least I can do in return is to let Him into my life and “look unto Him in every thought.”

Safety for the Soul

Elder Holland—October 2009

One of the worst large-scale calamities is the enemy of truth. Satan is all around us, at all times. He specifically targets that which he does not have- a body. He also targets the Book of Mormon, because it has brought forth the fullness and restoration of the gospel. The Book of Mormon has been attacked and denied for 179 years, and still it stands true. No amount of research can add up to disprove the Book of Mormon, because there is no other answer. The fullest measure of faith comes through embracing the divinity of the Book of Mormon. I hope that by the end of this class, I will have developed a greater testimony of the Book of Mormon. I believe in its truthfulness, and through that I have a testimony of Joseph Smith, of Jesus Christ, and of the reality of the Second Coming. Now, I just want a better understanding of the teachings and principles that are scattered throughout this great book. Hopefully as I learn more about how I can apply those principles in my life, I will be better prepared to be a missionary, to be a wife and mother, and to face my Savior in the Second Coming. It’s great to read the Book of Mormon; I’ve done that since I was young. But this semester, I want to learn how to truly study and apply the Book of Mormon. I want to live it. And by doing so, I can create “a safety for my soul.”

People are Beautiful

"People are beautiful. You know?" This was a thought presented by one of my missionaries in a letter she sent home. And it struck me hard.

Even in my limited experience, I am getting to know a lot of different people and life stories. And I am beginning to realize, just arriving at the tip of the iceburg really...We are all children of our Heavenly Father, just with different experiences to share. And we can learn from each other!

There is a boy. One of my dear friends, actually. He is struggling a lot with the Church and pressure to go on a mission (because ninety-eight percent of our graduating class is leaving right after high school, it seems. I feel that pressure too.) Anyway, I have found myself in a situation where I try to help him understand the love God has for him. And that God's love is ultimately more important than anything else. We talk together about his struggles and it has been such an amazing testimony builder...for ME. I feel so selfish sharing the gospel, sharing the love, sharing His love- because I feel like I am gaining infinitely more blessings than my friend! Oh but I love it. I love it.

Tangent: Those people I always thought were always perfect? NEWSFLASH, they're not. My brother Max, for example. I have always looked up to him and he created an impossible standard in my mind. But the more I grow up and realize that he is not perfect, the more I love him. I have seen his imperfections especially through the difficulty of missionary work, which is ironic because he strives for perfection on his mission more than ever before. 

Without going into more detail about my perceptions of others' imperfections (motes, beams, Hymn 273), I have developed a theory:

THEORY

When considering the interconnection one has with another, the aforementioned propinquity is thus unconsciously fortified by the culmination of awareness that a given species has more similarities than anomalies in all respects of cognitive, behavioral, and environmental influences.

Haha. In English, that means that I believe that when I realize other people are like me...busy, forgetful, self-conscious, cough, HUMAN...my relationship with them is strengthened. The gap is closed. There is less distance between us, and so we become closer. 

I begin to see similarities and cute quirks in traits that were once annoyances and blemishes. I am more inclined to accept, even if I don't agree. 

What it all boils down to is this: take away the judgement, the predicament, the difference. Take it all away, and what do you and I have in common? WE ARE CHILDREN OF GOD. Who loves us and we love Him. 

While this is true, the judgements and predicaments and differences unfortunately do still exist, and occasionally arise in conflict. It is difficult for me to imagine situations from another person's point of view. I often wonder, as Elder W. Craig Zwick did in our most recent General Conference, "What are you thinking!?" (Read his talk here)

However, between the mistakes, flaws, faults, bumheadedness, and pain- there is beauty. People are beautiful, and they deserve to know it. Over the last few weeks, I have received many promptings to consider my own judgements, and simply accept, even if I don't agree. So I am taking this charge to minister grace and let you know that you are beautiful.

(Or handsome. Whichever one applies.)

The Mission Decision.

This has been weighing on my mind ever since President Monson announced that I can begin missionary service at age nineteen.

Prior to October 2012 I had not considered serving a full-time mission. The timing never seemed to fit in my plan of college and marriage and babies. And frankly, I didn't have a desire. A mission was not for me. When the prophetic age change was revealed, I was immediately overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and worry. I felt I had to make the decision to serve my mission right away. These feelings persisted for months, fed by pressure from everyone around me. The age change was a hot topic, but I never felt quite comfortable sharing exactly what I had on my mind. People would ask me nearly every day, "Are you going to serve a mission?" Friends, family, neighbors, strangers.. Others around me were excited. Oh, I wanted to be excited. But the only answer--the most truthful answer--I could give was I DON'T KNOW. I felt lame. Inadequate. "Not spiritual enough."

Fast forward six months to April General Conference.. Should I serve a mission? I begged for a lightning-bolt answer to my question. In pursuit of that answer, I took extensive notes on all five sessions. And I am oh so glad I did. Never have I felt the influence of the Holy Ghost quite like I did during those ten hours, and reading those notes allows me to re-experience those promptings. I did not receive the answer I was looking for. But.. After listening intently to inspired speakers and prophets, I came to the conclusion that it's okay not to know. My worry dissipated and I felt assured that when the time came, I would be able to make the right decision.

A short time later, I talked to my bishop about the possibility of a full-time mission. He gave me the best advice I've heard yet: PREPARE for missionary service, no matter what. Financially, emotionally, spiritually.. When it comes time, the only factor will then be God's will.  If I am supposed to serve a mission, I will know. And I will be prepared. If I am not supposed to serve a mission, I will know. And my preparation will benefit every other aspect of my life.

It has now been a year and half since I began thinking about my mission. First it was a source of worry, tension, confusion. Now I feel excitement, peace, and comfort. I know now that I will serve a mission.

My mission might be serving in my ward at BYU, starting my own family, or being sent somewhere in this great big world to share the gospel.. I still don't know that part! There are many missions for me to fulfill. I believe that I will receive an answer when the time comes. And if I don't receive "yes" or "no," I'll take that as a sign of His trust in my ability to choose. These are all good things and I want to experience all of them. But for now, I will simply prepare. And be happy! This gospel brings me so much joy and I try to share it everyday, even if I don't wear a black name-tag.

(The Mission Decision: Brittany Beattie)