Am I ready?

A huge theme for class this week was covenants, which were found in the supplemental reading, “Understanding My Covenants with God,” and in Mosiah 18:8-10. We learned that making and keeping covenants with Christ is essential to receive eternal salvation. I was reminded that if I want the full blessings of the atonement, I must make covenants.

I am currently attending a temple preparation class instead of Sunday School. I don’t have a mission call, and I’m not getting married in the foreseeable future, so one might ask why I am taking Temple Prep. Since covenants have been on my mind this week, my lesson in Temple Prep today was especially meaningful. It was the last week in a series of lessons to help me prepare to receive my endowment. Something that my instructor said really hit home- he said, “Your endowment does not have to be triggered by a mission or a marriage! The question is, simply, Are you ready to make covenants?”  

As I learn more about covenants, my desire grows to be ready to make them. I am thankful for the preparation I receive regularly in religion classes, personal study, and church attendance, and soon I want to be able to answer, “Yes. I am ready." To make covenants with Christ that will lead to my eternal happiness.

Jacob 1:15

“And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own head if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day.”

I have held many callings in my life, and that will continue as long as I am active in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some of those callings are bound by time, such as “counselor,” “visiting teacher,” and “Relief Society president.” Some of my callings will last forever, such as “big sister,” “daughter,” and “friend.” Some of my callings, like “mother” and “companion,” have not come yet. These callings are all very different, yet they have one thing in common. They all are given to teach me how to serve after the manner of Jesus Christ.

Jacob and Joseph magnified their Priesthood callings. I do not hold the Priesthood, but I know that I can still draw upon its power when fulfilling my own callings. Right now as the RS president of my YSA ward, I feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained. But I also feel so much joy when I am able to get to know the sisters in my ward and serve them. I just pray that I can find time each day to magnify this calling and do my best so that when I answer to God, I can be confident.

People are Beautiful

"People are beautiful. You know?" This was a thought presented by one of my missionaries in a letter she sent home. And it struck me hard.

Even in my limited experience, I am getting to know a lot of different people and life stories. And I am beginning to realize, just arriving at the tip of the iceburg really...We are all children of our Heavenly Father, just with different experiences to share. And we can learn from each other!

There is a boy. One of my dear friends, actually. He is struggling a lot with the Church and pressure to go on a mission (because ninety-eight percent of our graduating class is leaving right after high school, it seems. I feel that pressure too.) Anyway, I have found myself in a situation where I try to help him understand the love God has for him. And that God's love is ultimately more important than anything else. We talk together about his struggles and it has been such an amazing testimony builder...for ME. I feel so selfish sharing the gospel, sharing the love, sharing His love- because I feel like I am gaining infinitely more blessings than my friend! Oh but I love it. I love it.

Tangent: Those people I always thought were always perfect? NEWSFLASH, they're not. My brother Max, for example. I have always looked up to him and he created an impossible standard in my mind. But the more I grow up and realize that he is not perfect, the more I love him. I have seen his imperfections especially through the difficulty of missionary work, which is ironic because he strives for perfection on his mission more than ever before. 

Without going into more detail about my perceptions of others' imperfections (motes, beams, Hymn 273), I have developed a theory:

THEORY

When considering the interconnection one has with another, the aforementioned propinquity is thus unconsciously fortified by the culmination of awareness that a given species has more similarities than anomalies in all respects of cognitive, behavioral, and environmental influences.

Haha. In English, that means that I believe that when I realize other people are like me...busy, forgetful, self-conscious, cough, HUMAN...my relationship with them is strengthened. The gap is closed. There is less distance between us, and so we become closer. 

I begin to see similarities and cute quirks in traits that were once annoyances and blemishes. I am more inclined to accept, even if I don't agree. 

What it all boils down to is this: take away the judgement, the predicament, the difference. Take it all away, and what do you and I have in common? WE ARE CHILDREN OF GOD. Who loves us and we love Him. 

While this is true, the judgements and predicaments and differences unfortunately do still exist, and occasionally arise in conflict. It is difficult for me to imagine situations from another person's point of view. I often wonder, as Elder W. Craig Zwick did in our most recent General Conference, "What are you thinking!?" (Read his talk here)

However, between the mistakes, flaws, faults, bumheadedness, and pain- there is beauty. People are beautiful, and they deserve to know it. Over the last few weeks, I have received many promptings to consider my own judgements, and simply accept, even if I don't agree. So I am taking this charge to minister grace and let you know that you are beautiful.

(Or handsome. Whichever one applies.)

A Blessing in Disguise

Since serving as a class officer in the eighth grade, my greatest ambition was to be elected as senior class president. Some people might cringe at the thought of planning reunions for the rest of their lives, but I craved it. I love planning, helping, and creating memories. My only drawback while I considered running for office was the possibility of failure. I would feel humiliated to put my name before my peers, to actively campaign, to work so hard: only to fail. Finally, after months of preparation--emotionally and otherwise--I took the final step of fulfilling my dream and put my name on the ballot. 

During those weeks, I forced myself to set aside my fears of rejection. I invested my heart in my campaign. After an exhausting first round of elections, I made it through the primaries. I was empowered by this accomplishment, and I began to enjoy myself through the rest of campaigns. It was fun to encourage my peers to vote, and I soon forgot my apprehension in running. Then came the day of final elections. I gave a speech that morning, and was told to expect a phone call from the current senior class president that evening. 

As soon as I got to the sanction of home, away from the influence of my peers, I sat in my room for three hours unable to do anything but wait for that phone call- a call that would determine my senior year of high school. I have to say, I felt very confident that I would win after being told so by teachers, friends, and family. But doubt still nagged at me. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the phone rang and I hesitantly picked up. For a moment, my heart leapt for joy! Then like a shipwreck, it plunged, when I heard his melancholy voice. I lost. I lost. I lost. That is the only thought I had as I began to cry. Everything I had worked for and dreamed of in the last four years was gone, over a simple phone call.

I put my heart into that election, and frankly it was the first time I had ever truly lost something. Sure, I’ve lost a few tennis matches and races and card games; but I’ve never lost a close family member, I’ve never lost a close friend, and I’ve never gotten less than an A. I really felt like a failure when I wasn’t elected. However, that feeling did not last. My friends and family immediately helped me get back on my feet and be okay. Through their support, I realized that I am surrounded by people who truly love me. I know that their love is unconditional. This understanding has carried me through other hardships since then. Also, a few days after the bad news, I was called to serve on Viewmont’s LDS Seminary Council. In hindsight, I see that I would have missed that opportunity if I were elected, among many others. 

I am reminded of this “failure” everyday at school, but I now consider it a blessing. The most important lesson I have gained from this experience is to trust in the Lord at all costs. Even though my plan to be senior class president seemed good and uplifting, it was not what He had in store for me. Instead, I’ve been blessed to know who my true friends are, I’ve been able to spend precious time with family before I leave for good, and I’ve been presented with countless ordinary, yet powerful, opportunities to serve my peers. 

Sunday Sonnet

A song is a prayer of the heart, they say-

Each note’s a word unspoken, sent above,

Above to Him who gives me light each day.

Through song, I feel His everlasting love.

A song is a prayer of the heart, I’m told:

Each man is an instrument in His hand.

I sing, and watch countless blessing unfold

Upon those who adore and understand.

A song is a prayer of the heart, I hear.

In song, I pray for the ultimate goal

Of helping me feel my Savior draw near:

He crosses my mind and pierces my soul.

A song is a prayer of the heart, I know!

And with each song that I sing, my heart grows.

(D&C 25:12)