Patience

Patience is the Christlike attribute I focused on this week. I had to be patient with myself while studying for a difficult chemistry exam. I did not do everything in my power to prepare for the test, but time was short and I felt overwhelmed. In that moment of distress, my friend Kia saw me in the lobby and asked how I was doing. I was honest with her, and let her know that I was freaking out about my test and I didn't know what to do. She gave me uplifting advice and encouraged me to be patient with myself. Of all the things she could have told me, she chose patience- and I am so glad. It taught me a lesson of understanding. Being patient with myself helped me realize that even though I didn't spend many hours studying for the chemistry test, I used those hours in other uplifting ways. Being patient with myself helped me understand some of the ways that our Heavenly Father is patient with us. 

The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness. 

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I believe that patience helps me enjoy the little things in life. I have always told myself that I love to be busy, it gives me purpose and direction; while this is true--and I am nearly always busy--I feel the happiest when I have a chance to sit back, relax, and look around at the blessings which I have been given.

Today in our hurried and hectic lives, we could well go back to an earlier time for the lesson taught us regarding crossing dangerous streets. “Stop, look, and listen” were the watchwords. Could we not apply them now? Stop...and look upward for heavenly help. Listen for His invitation: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

--Thomas S. Monson

I had the opportunity to take a road trip to southern Utah this weekend. We woke up at 4:00am to begin the long drive to Zion National Park. It was pitch black when we left Provo, and slowly but surely, the sun rose in the east sky. It's been a long time since I've seen the entire sunset and it was truly glorious. I had a lot of time on Saturday, in the car and on the peak of Angels Landing, to ponder and reflect and converse with my Heavenly Father. It was a much-needed break from my "hurried and hectic life"and I am grateful for the opportunity I had to stop the busy-ness, look at the beauty around me, and listen to the promptings that God wanted me to hear. Hiking is a special time for me, to wonder at the beautiful creations which He has given us. I think of the patience that God must have as he watches his children cultivate, progress, and grow. I am thankful for the patience and mercy which He offers me. I hope as I continue to recognize His patience and love in my life, I will be able to extend it to others, and to myself.

Knowledge

Preach My Gospel promises that as I study diligently, prayerfully, and with pure intent, that the Holy Ghost will enlighten my mind and help me be more open to receiving personal revelation. I know that I can also gain knowledge by watching and listening to others, especially the prophets of God. I am thankful for my brain and the opportunities I have to increase my knowledge in gospel subjects, in temporal learning, and in love.

Virtue

In mission prep this week, we focused on the Christlike attribute of virtue. Virtue is often coupled with terms like "chastity" and "morality," but I like to think of it more as purity in every regard- in thoughts, desires, actions, service, and intent.

Proverbs 31:10-31 tells of a virtuous woman. She is a woman who deserves the trust of her husband, who works willingly, and who is considerate. She reaches to the needy, and lives with strength and honor. I want to be like this woman. I want to invite purity into every aspect of my life, and to develop and act on righteous desires. My patriarchal blessing states that I will one day fulfill my innermost desire to become a mother in Israel. To do this, I will need to continue to live a virtuous life so that I will be worthy to marry in the temple with my lucky husband.

Sister Elaine S. Dalton is one of my heroes and another perfect example of a virtuous woman. Sister Dalton counsels us to never underestimate the power of our righteous influence. I believe that living virtuously is the strength and power of daughters of God, and that influence may be felt by my children, Relief Society sisters, boyfriend, or a stranger- really anyone who I come in contact with. I want to be sure my influence is a good one- one that will bring others closer to Christ.

I was challenged in class to include virtuous goals in my conversations with Heavenly Father. He encouraged us to pray for more virtue in the mornings, and report our progress to Him at night. This is something that I want to practice for the rest of my life, because I truly felt the influence of a loving Spirit throughout my days.

I know that living virtuously will help me be a better missionary, friend, sister, daughter, wife, and mother. Even though I haven't fulfilled all of these roles yet, I can continue to prepare for the temple and for my future family by implementing these attributes in my life now- each and every day.

Charity and Love

Elder Gene R. Cook said that charity is "perfect and everlasting love."

As we increasingly think and act like Him, the attributes of the natural man will slip away to be replaced by the heart and mind of Christ.

This talk wonderfully defines charity and how we can implement the teachings and attitudes of Christ in our own lives.

Hope

I am thankful for the opportunity to learn more about hope in Jesus Christ this week in Mission Prep. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from our latter-day prophets about hope.

A testimony of the hope of redemption is something which cannot be measured or counted. Jesus Christ is the source of that hope.

Hope is one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. These three stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time. The scriptures are clear and certain about the importance of hope. The Apostle Paul taught that the scriptures were written to the end that we “might have hope.” ¹Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. ² Its absence—when this desire of our heart is delayed—can make “the heart sick.” ³Hope is a gift of the Spirit. ⁴ It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Savior. ⁵ This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, ⁶ and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, ⁷ mercy, ⁸ rejoicing, ⁹ and gladness. ¹⁰ The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; ¹¹ it is the foundation of our faith ¹² and an anchor to our souls. ¹³

--President Dieter F. Ucthdorf 

Faith in Christ

This week in Mission Prep I was challenged to develop my faith in Jesus Christ. This seemed like a pretty broad challenge, and now at the end of the week, I wish I had taken it more seriously. Regardless, over the last few days I have strived to pray out loud with more sincere intent to my Heavenly Father- in the name of Jesus Christ.

One of my church leaders recently told me there was a time in his life when he wasn't sure if his prayers were making it past the ceiling. This man is a spiritual giant and I look up to him immensely. It was oddly comforting to realize that if he has felt this way before, it's okay that I have felt this way before. I have said prayers all throughout my life, but it is a rare occasion when I pray aloud. I often gain comfort through prayer, but sometimes I don't know if it's because I believe that God is listening to me, or because it is just therapeutic to talk about my day and think about my missionaries and plan out what I would like to do better tomorrow in my head. Sometimes I feel foolish when I pray aloud...but this week, in striving to develop my faith in Jesus Christ, it has felt a little more natural. I have felt that God wants me to draw closer to Him. And because He wants me to, it makes me want to even more.

Because of my renewed faith in Jesus Christ, I have resolved to come unto Him in every way that I can. I am about to take a big step out of my comfort zone and come to Him in a way I never have before. I know that I need to repent of my sins, and I hope that my guilt will be swept away through his powerful Atonement. I don't think I have personally experienced the enabling power of the Atonement before. Even though it is hard and embarrassing to complete the process to get past my mortal weaknesses, I can't wait to feel the joy and freedom that is promised in the scriptures to those who repent and come unto Christ.

Developing this faith in Jesus Christ will help me become a more successful missionary, whether I'm in the field or in my home. I will be able to teach my children the joys of the Atonement through personal experience. I will be able to testify to them of the enabling power of the Atonement the way that Jakey did for me:

The Enabling power of the atonement is real. It motivates us it pushes us, and it can help us do anything that we need to do. I just wanted to share my testimony with you that Jesus Christ has made it all possible. He makes me who I am and all I have to do is let him change me. If you read in Jacob, it tells us not to try and counsel the Lord with who we think we should be, and if you then go to Isaiah 45:9 he shows us how we are clay and we need to let the master craftsman form us into the best thing that we can be. We don't know enough to mold ourselves in the person the Lord knows that we can be, we can't rely on our own knowledge, as we are taught in 2 Nephi 9:28-29. I know that when we hearken to the counsel of the Lord we will always come out better than if we try and rely on ourselves. 

I feel God's love for me each day through the angels He puts in my life and the blessed circumstances I find myself in. I want to return this love as best as I can. Bekah reminded me of many ways that I can show my love for Him in her Relief Society lesson last Sunday. She is one of my greatest examples of someone who loves the Lord and I'm so grateful for her close example in my life. I hope to develop my faith in Jesus Christ every day. Each new experience is an opportunity to come closer to Him, depending on the choices I make. When I let Him mold me into the person I have the potential to become, I'll be happy and He will be too.

Semester Numero Dos

It's so beyond weird to think that I have completed my first semester of college. Like, I'm totally done. I never have to think about American Heritage again. I am in the groove of things and think I've got it all going on. Who are we kidding, I definitely have got it going on.

Church. School. Work. Dates. Cooking. Textbooks of death. Sometimes it all feels very mundane and checklist-y, and sometimes it all feels like I am a college student have these amazing adventures and the best time of my life! Depends on the day, and how much homework I have. It hasn't exactly been everything I expected...BYU is hard. I really struggled with the homework load this last semester. How does one find a healthy balance between working really hard to do my best /slash/ having an acceptance of fate attitude. I don't know. But, regardless, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BYU is the perfect place for me. Campus is beautiful and I have met so many lifelong friends. I've dated a lot, which has been so fun, though sometimes a little stressful. My ward is absolutely amazing. I love my bishopric so much, they love us so much, they are so involved in our lives, and it's been really cool to see our little student ward step up and take real callings and ward council and  minister and love and serve each other. I'm excited to get to know the new members of our ward...particularly that RM I saw moving in with a tennis racket.

Thoughts about covenants.

 Throughout the course of this semester, I have gained a greater understanding of Christ’s Atonement and how to apply it in my own life. I have also learned a great deal more about the covenants I have made through baptism and sacrament ordinances, and am now preparing to make in the temple. The purpose of this paper is to further explore the meaning of “covenants” as stated in Mosiah 18:8-10, and how I can continue to prepare to make eternal promises with our Heavenly Father.

The first covenant I would like to discuss is the first essential covenant we make to enter into the kingdom of God: that is, baptism. Mosiah 18:8-10 states:

“And now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light;

“Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrections, that ye may have eternal life-

“Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you.”

There are several main points in this passage of scripture that I’d like to address: First of all, it is made clear that those who make covenants with God must be desirous and willing. I recently attended the baptism of Simon, who lives in my YSA ward here in Provo. He has been attending BYU as a non-LDS student and after investigating the Church, chose to be baptized. At the end of the meeting, our bishop said something that struck me. He addressed Simon, and told him that many people have served him over the last years and months to be prepared to enter into the waters of baptism; but now, as a member of the Church and a disciple of Christ, it is his responsibility to serve others. It is very evident that Simon understood the covenant that he just made with God, as spelled out in D&C 20:37:

 “All those who humble themselves before God and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hears and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end…”

Simon is an example to me because he is clearly full of desire to join the ranks with Jesus Christ through the covenant of baptism. I imagine that it would be a difficult decision as an 18 year-old young man, 2000 miles away from home and family to change his entire lifestyle. However, it is not that hard to envision in my own life, because throughout this semester, I have learned that I make that same commitment each week when I take the sacrament. Partaking of the bread and water is a literal renewal of all of the covenants I have made.

I have already covenanted with my Heavenly Father by being baptized at age eight and partaking of the sacrament each week. I keep my end of this two-way promise by humbly repenting of my sins and all of the aforementioned things. In return, I can be worthy to have the Spirit of God accompany me through out my life, as long as I am living worthily. Honoring baptismal covenants is an important part of making all of the covenants on the path to eternal life. As I honor my baptismal covenants, I am also preparing to make other covenants. The next covenant is the endowment.

I have not yet received my endowment, but attending a temple preparation class helped me to better understand what covenants I will be making when I do. These instructions and covenants will prepare me for the blessings of eternal life as long as I am faithful to my end of the promise. In my temple preparation class, I learned that contrary to previous policy, I do not have to wait to receive my endowment until I am about to leave on a mission or be married. My instructor told me that a new statement given by the Brethren of the First Presidency has encouraged bishops and stake presidents to be aware of this policy change. Knowing this has changed my outlook on preparing to make covenants with God. I want to let my endowment—a personal experience about my own eternal progression—be a separate experience from my wedding or impending mission, so that I will not be distracted from the importance of my covenants. I hope that this will let my endowment experience be very personal and meaningful. Because I now know that I can prepare to enter the temple before I go on a mission or get married, my desire and motivation to do so has increased exponentially. I have been studying the Plan of Salvation and trying to improve many areas of my life in preparation to make covenants in the temple, alongside keeping my baptismal covenants. I also learned this semester that partaking of the sacrament not only renews baptismal covenants, but all promises and covenants made with our Heavenly Father.

Going back to the theme of this paper as found in Mosiah 18, one of my promises to Heavenly Father necessary to keep my covenants with him is to “stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places,” which is also included in the Young Women Theme. I have been reciting this convicting statement ever since I was twelve years old. This means to me that I will act in accordance with His will across all situations and against all opposition. I consider myself lucky that I have not encountered many opposing forces to my faith, however, by reading and understanding this scripture I have learned that the request to stand as a witness of God did not end when I graduated out of the Young Women’s program.

D&C 66:2 says:

“Blessed are you for receiving mine everlasting covenant, even the fullness of my gospel, sent forth unto the children of men, that they might have life and be made partakers of the glories which are to be revealed in the last days.”

God is so good. He provides me with opportunities to exercise faith and trust by allowing me to make covenants with Him. Even though I already experience many benefits from these covenants, He continues to pour out blessings of the fullness of the gospel and offers unfathomable glory in the kingdoms to come. Throughout this semester—by taking a Book of Mormon class and attending temple preparation, by learning more about the sacrament and studying the Plan of Salvation—I have developed my relationship with my Heavenly Father exponentially. I have a better understanding of Christ’s atonement and how it is applicable in my life, and I strive to understand the importance of making and keeping my covenants with God. As stated in the July 2012 Ensign article, “keeping our covenants is a commitment to become like the Savior” (Understanding Our Covenants with God). I am committed to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ, and thus will strive for the rest of my life to keep the covenants that are made possible through Him. 

Happy birthday to me.

Can you believe I'm NINETEEN. It just seems so old. Only one year away from 20. It is even weirder that I could be on a mission right now if I wanted.

Speaking of going on missions...I have given more thought to the possibility. Technically, I could have submitted my papers back in August and be leaving in a couple weeks. However, I have counseled with my parents, and my bishop, and the Lord most of all. At this point a mission is not in my plans. I don't know how I feel about that. Well, I feel at peace about it. In a way, I would really love to serve a mission. I loved going on splits with the sisters, I love teaching, I love being immersed in the gospel, I always feel so much desire to have these experiences that all of my peers and friends are having when I read their letters (to be honest, I'm so jealous). It seems like a mission would be the most perfect thing for me. I often get told that too, by church leaders and family members and dear friends. But that's part of the reason why I feel so at peace with my answer... Even though I would like to serve a mission, I just know that it's not for me. Not because I don't want to, not because I can't... Because I kind of do want to and I can. But I believe there must be something else in store for me, and I don't know what that is yet. 

For this year at least, it is serving as the RS president in my ward in Provo. If I was leaving on a mission right now, I would not be able to do that, and in the last 4 months I have seen so many wonderful things, just like one of my friends described from his mission: 

"You'll never gain as much knowledge and experience as you will on a mission. I can't tell you what an incredible experience it has been, especially as it comes to an end. The thought of going home soon leaves me speechless. I don't want to leave here... Missionary work is way too enjoyable. Seeing others change their lives... there's nothing like it. Not to mention the strength added to your personal testimony as well."

I've gained so much knowledge and experience in ward council, visiting teaching, coordinating, organizing, leading, and friendshipping in Relief Society that will affect the rest of my life. It is way too enjoyable. I've seen my sisters change their lives and had the opportunity to teach and befriend. It has helped me focus more on other people during this extremely selfish time of life. 

There has been so much strength added to my personal testimony as well. There were times at the beginning when I would just cry because it was too hard, it was too much time, I was too unqualified, etc. etc. But then I'd talk to my mom, and my grandma, and most of all the Lord, and be comforted, and lifted up, and reassured. I've gained such an amazing relationship working so closely with my bishop and his wife, and my testimony has been strengthened immensely. I've learned how to teach effectively and lovingly. Does this sound like a mission? I believe that this is my mission, at least for right now. I don't know if later the opportunity or desire to serve full-time will come up. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, that was a huge tangent. Today not only marks my day of birth, but the first day of finals week. Bleh. I discovered that I will have to take a final on my birthday in all my years of college, how lovely. I was not planning on much celebration but I was pleasantly surprised. I am blessed with so many thoughtful friends who made my birthday very happy indeed. But alas, I took a lot of liberties with my limited time today and am now have to really crack down on finals. Until those are over...ciao.

Doing vs. Becoming

Elder Dallin H. Oaks- The Challenge to Become

I was extremely touched by this talk. My life often feels like an endless to-do list and it is difficult to see the fruits of my labors as I trudge on to the next checklist. However, Elder Oaks teaches the principle of becoming rather than doing. The gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.  I learned from his article that to TESTIFY is to know and declare; but to be CONVERTED is to do and become. As we become disciples of Christ, it is second nature to think as He would, act as He would, and say what he would have you say. I believe the golden rule is not to treat others as they would like to be treated, but to treat others the way He would treat them. In our reading for this week, we learn in Alma chapter 12 that we are not condemned merely on our thoughts, words, and actions. If we were judged on the things that we had done, rather than the person we have become, that would be contrary to the teachings of Christ. We can all be saved through His atonement, which is available to every person who has lived on earth. It is available to all, but we must take advantage of it. Christ knew that he sacrificed in advance for some who would not utilize this great blessing, but He loves us so much that He would make that sacrifice whether we use it or not. I am so thankful for the blessing of the Atonement in my life, and the chance that it gives me to become more like the Savior throughout and despite all of my mistakes and challenges.